I recently had a sit down talk with two top tiered leaders (Sandals’ Senior Pastor Matt Brown and Executive Pastor Dan Zimbardi), who spoke boldly and directly about three areas of needed growth in my life. I know some of you are assuredly reacting right now, “No way! We all know you, Gary, and you are only a smidgen from perfection!” I was hoping to dismiss it all in that way, too, until I floated the list by my wife and heard the reply, “Yep. That’s you alright!”
With the correcting tune reaching concert-like crescendos, I sucked it up and received the assessment on my quirky relating-to-others tendencies. Though I definitely have my issues to work on, one of the things that God began to work into my life early was the ability to take criticism.
In fact, I had a pronounced life-shaping experience during my college football days at Long Beach State. I can recall vividly the first spring practice in pads when the man charged with molding defensive backs (Coach Watson), called each of us by name to take a limited number of reps on the field. I was initially delighted to see him rip into the guys before me on the depth chart. Surely, my time on the field would impress—and I’d move up the ladder!
What I experienced that day, and for the next two years of my life, was a coach fully willing to attack my every misstep. I had grown up playing football, and never had I experienced anything like this! He ripped me apart from head-to-toe in front of any and all. Overtime, everyone on the squad got acclimated to being corrected. We learned to take it. In our unique context, it was clear that criticism was par-for-the-course to being in a Division 1 football program. He expected much from the way we performed on the field. What was the result? Everyone got better.
Little did I know then, what a valuable life lesson it would be. I saw firsthand criticism’s advantage. So on the day, when my two mentors dragged me in to speak hard truth, it in no way blew me out of the water. Be gone selfish hubris! I thanked them. They cared enough to do the sharpening. That means a lot to me. I want to be my best for God. I am sure you do as well. Afterwards, I said to myself, Sandals now feels like a Division 1 program!
Dear friend, let me ask you an important question. Who is faithful enough to speak truth into your life? Do you not need it? You do if you are going to be your very best. Find those powerful people, drop the pride in the pit where it belongs, and let their mirroring take your life and ministry to new levels.
Gary,
I have enjoyed your posts and have had good intentions of replying but haven’t seemed to get around to it.
THIS was a great piece and I was deeply moved by your honesty and choice of words. May the Lord continue to “sharpen you” beyond your imagination having a domino affect on those around you!
Thank you Martha. I see you as a tremendous example of insight and transparency!
Gary:
The worldly David in me would have been crushed after my wife confirmed those “character flaws” brought to my attention by the pastors. Thankfully, God too has worked on my heart to receive criticism, but I am certain I would not have gotten back on the saddle that quick. Thank you for your humility and your example.
Thank you also for sharing this with us.
Thanks for sharing your wisdom Gary. This youthful man soaks it up. I would have to say that my wife is the closest source of constructive criticism in my life, and its not always the easiest thing to swollow. But your words are wise and I should not be scarred to hear her words. But rather take them in and be excited about the growth to come.
Gary,
Your ability be so transparent with those you are sharing with always hits home with me. I can remember in our First Steps class there was a week we were covering “signature sins” (I think that’s what they were called). Anyhow, after you were willing to be real with all of us in class about who you are, I had never been more sure of calling Sandals my home. I would like to think I have a few people in my life that love me enough to be honest even when I may not want to hear it. It is through reflection that we grow and sometimes we are blinded and we need others to show us areas that need reflection. Thank you for always being willing to share…